I recall being at a family friend’s house for a gathering a few years ago. A few of us were outside talking about motherhood. In that conversation we talked a lot about the relationships that our children have with each other as siblings. One of the attendees abruptly said, “I don’t want anymore children because by having just one I don’t have to share my love for him with other kids.” While I definitely found it an odd statement to make, I didn’t think about it too much at the time. The conversation found it’s way to another topic besides parenting, and that was that.
Here I am years later, and that lady’s comment still resonates with me. It stuck with me because it’s absolute bullshit. In my honest opinion, I think she was actually feeling left out or some kind of way since she was the only Mom there with just one child. By blurting out that piece of nonsense, she was trying to justify her own choices. As a mother, shouldn’t she understand that our hearts are so intensely capable of love that you don’t have to limit your love to just one person?
I understand that some people choose to only have one child. I am quite happy with the way my life has turned out as a mother of three. They are the best of friends. They’ll always look out for each other. In the very distant future, myself and their father won’t be around but they’ll still have each other. I realize this isn’t the case for everyone either, but having siblings should be like having a built in bestie.
I’m thinking a lot about sibling relationships today because I’m coming out of a fantastically happy weekend with my little sister visiting. Although we didn’t actually grow up in the same household 100% of the time (different mothers), that hasn’t seemed to make much of a difference. A bond exists that is unexplainable. She gets me, even when I’m at my silliest and probably making zero sense through my laughter. We laugh more when we are together than with anyone else. It’s constant laughing and giggling. It’s cry your eyes out laughing. It’s hyperventilating laughing. It’s fucking amazing.
I see that bond is there amongst my children. Even little Ruby is enamored with both her big sister and big brother. The age difference between the older two and Ruby will make no difference, just as the 9 year difference between my sister and me hasn’t made any difference in regards to how close we are.
Before I get any angry emails or comments, I’m not saying everyone has to have multiple children. You don’t have to have any of you so choose. It broke my heart for the lady I mentioned above to think her heart wasn’t big enough to share her motherly love with more than one child. My heart explodes with love for all of my beautiful crazy ass kids daily.
**The featured image is of me and my sister at my Bachelorette Girl’s Weekend in 2006**